Women on divorce

Statistics show that women are far more likely to petition for divorce than men.
Why should this be? Is it just that men are more complacent.

Certainly it is the case that in most relationships, it is the women who is the ‘relationship caretaker’. They carefully monitor the relationships and want to make sure that all is right and that there is enough closeness and comradeship. If there is not, it is the woman who will complain and who will do what she can to try to fix things.

If her husband is not responsive, the women will become extremely unhappy and start complaining about everything under the sun...things that need to get done around the house, caring for the children, how time is spent and in fact everything the husband does and does not do. She will also become highly critical of her man.

Unfortunately, when women complain, men generally retreat and the marriage deteriorates even more. Thus the more the woman nags her husband into improving the marriage, the worse it gets.

After years of trying unsuccessfully to improve things, a woman eventually surrenders and convinces herself that change isn't possible. She ends up believing there's absolutely nothing she can do because everything she's tried hasn't worked. That's when she begins to carefully map out the logistics of what she considers to be the inevitable, getting a divorce.

While she's planning her escape, she no longer tries to improve her relationship or modify her partner's behaviour in any way. She resigns herself to living in silent desperation until "D Day." Unfortunately, her husband views his wife's silence as an indication that "everything is fine." After all, the "nagging" has ceased. That's why, when she finally breaks the news that she wants a divorce, he will be utterly shell shocked.

Then, even when her husband undergoes real and lasting changes, it's often too late. The same impenetrable wall that for years shielded her from pain now prevents her from truly recognizing his genuine willingness to change. The relationship is in the danger zone.

If you are a woman who fits this description, don't give up. Many men make amazing changes once they truly understand how unhappy their wives have been. Sometimes men are slow to catch on, but when they do, their determination to turn things around can be astounding. Give your husband another chance. Let him prove to you that things can be different. Keep your family together. Divorce is not a simple answer. It causes unimaginable pain and suffering. It takes an enormous amount of energy to face each day. Why not take this energy and learn some new skills to make your marriage what you've wanted it to be for so long?
If you're a man and your wife has been complaining or nagging, thank her. It means she still cares about you and your marriage. She's working hard to make your love stronger. Spend time with her. Talk to her. Compliment her. Pay attention. Take her seriously. Show her that she's the most important thing in the world to you.

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