Free Legal information and Legal advice

Divorce and family separation bring out the worst in people. Some people consider that the situation when faced with divorce or relationship breakdown justifies deception and outright lies.
Here are some guidelines in dealing with the person you once loved (and may still love) and who loved you.

• If love is gone, substitute politeness
• Walk away from arguments or conflict
• Be skeptical of what he or she may say. Keep your cards close to your chest. Don't gloat if you think you have done well.
• Expect your spouse or partner to resent your friends and advisers and to attempt to undermine their advice and your confidence in them
• Consider the possibility of mediation or collaborative practice. Be prepared to compromise.
  
• Don't necessarily expect your spouse, or partner to be more honest or kinder to you just because you are devastated by the divorce or separation
  
• Remember that the most important people are your children. Don't discuss or talk about the separation or divorce in front of the children.  Don't criticise your spouse, or partner, or their new partner, to the children. Concentrate communications with your spouse, or partner on jointly continuing to care for your children and the new arrangements that have to be made
  
• Don't keep any personal papers anywhere your spouse or partner may find them, If necessary, obtain an alternative address for post
  
• Don't be intimidated if an ultimatum or deadline is given for you to accept or reject an offer.
  
• Don't agree to sell your home without first taking legal advice.

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Questions and answers:

Q. We have both agreed that our marriage is over. How long will it take us to get a divorce?

A.The divorce process from filing of the petition to pronouncement of decree absolute will usually take 12 to 13 weeks depending upon the speed of the court in dealing with the papers.

Q. How much is going to cost me to divorce? Is it necessary to instruct a solicitor?

A.There is absolutely no need to instruct a solicitor in a straightforward divorce as the procedure is perfectly straightforward and most people can deal with this themselves. There will be a Court fee totaling £340 to pay although exemptions are available. There are guides available to help you through the process such as the Legal-Zone DIY Divorce Kit which costs £24.99 and is available for immediate download

Q.My husband has paid spousal maintenance for 8 years. Originally £900 per month reduced to £500 per month 4 years ago when he discovered she was working part time after saying she was unable to work due to back problems. At this time our income had reduced due to a fall in business. She voluntarily gave up work but has now reached retirement age and receives her state pension. Last year she sold the mortgage free home she received as part of the settlement and purchased a property for £50k less. As she now has this resource and is able to contribute to her needs we would like to reduce the monthly payment or make a final payment to end the maintenance order for life.

A.I can well understand how frustrating this must be. It would seem a little unusual that your husband's former wife received not only the matrimonial home but also an order for very significant maintenance. As you will know maintenance orders can be varied and it would certainly appear that the former wife's circumstances changed when she sold the home. This will provide good grounds for an application to vary and this should certainly be made. The court will only be able to vary and not extinguish the maintenance although this could of course be to a nominal amount of 01p a year. I would be inclined at this stage to keep your powder dry so far as a proposal to pay her a lump sum. Make your application for a downward variation which will result in her having to file a statement of her financial means. When you know what these are it could well be negotiating time with her.

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